Pre-Draft Recap

A flurry of action took place prior to the first keeper year of the Grindiron Keeper League. First, team "I love Starting Pitchers and Wide Receivers" sacrificed a fourth round pick to get Chad Johnson as a second round keeper. Mort was somewhat confused by this pick, as ILSPaWR already had Santana Moss in the 11th round, and had declared his man-love for Peyton Manning in the first. Considering the 15 of the top 18 running backs were off the board prior to the start of the draft, it left him in a difficult situation, with one pick in the first three rounds to select two starting RB's.

Following that, Ironic Steel and Tall Loud Drunk swapped second-round RB's -- IS sending Clinton Portis for Rudi Johnson, and flipping picks in the 5th round. Barbs were thrown from the gallery at IS, due to the fact that ESPNews had a report of "breaking news regarding Rudi Johnson's NFL future." Mort, on his 5th white wine spritzer, claimed to know for a fact that Rudi Johnson was caught with a traffic violation, which could have a major impact on how Carson Palmer's knee performs. The consensus in the room is to continue feeding drinks to Mort. (post-script to the heckling: The story never showed on ESPNews, it was agreed that R. Johnson, in all likelihood, announced he will not be playing beyond 40, and we moved on. Karma bit TLD after the draft, when everyone discovered Portis had suffered an injured shoulder)

Another trade! Donnie Davenport flips draft positions with Team Equal Opportunity in a couple of rounds. No one cares, least of all Mort, who is currently yelling at a magazine for not ranking Matt Jones as a top 20 wide receiver.

The deals close out with Ironic Steel swindling a 2nd round draft pick from Single Andy for Larry Fitzgerald, who can be kept in the 7th round. Single Andy, now girlfriend-less, and therefore able to make fantasy trades free of nagging, has apparently forgotten how to get to his barber, as his hair is approaching Sampson proportions.

Mort is visibly erect, as the first Cardinal is mentioned for the evening. He advises us that with Edgerrin James, you HAVE to consider them as a darkhorse for the NFC West. Everyone else wonders who exactly this guy is, since he hasn't written an article for ESPN.com int he past three months, and hasn't been on any ESPN programming since April's draft. It's put to a vote, and everyone decides it's time for shots. Everyone else does beer, Mort gets Jager.