A Trainwreck Analyzed

Last night, everyone's favorite yankee loving franchise, aptly named "Bernie Williams" this year, embarked on a mission to compile the worst fantasy football team possible. Not really, but that sure is what it seemed like.

Armed with keeper selections Chad Johnson (2) and Santana Moss (11), the squad began in a deep hole with no Running Backs. Utilizing the ever popular (and historically failing) "Hammer" philosophy (see 'The Hammer Philosophy' Ironic Steel Salesmen, Steel Publishing, 2005 for full analysis), BW set out to compile as many Hammers (WRs in this case) as possible.

Here's the ugly recap.

1st Rd - 4th pick- Faced with a glaring deficiency at RB and a dearth of available RBs, and with no draft choice until no. 24, the logical decision would be to take Domanick Davis/Kevin Jones/Rueben Droughns/Julius Jones, ANYBODY who plays RB. Instead, BW selected the fantastically overrated Peyton Manning to the joy of all participating. Which is good, because if he had waited until 24 to try and take a quarterback, Matt Hasselbeck would have been gone as well to Lawnmower Man, who must have been snorting Miracle-Gro all afternoon and evening. Draft Grade -D

2nd Rd - Chad Johnson - keeper. Grade- B+ not bad.

3rd Rd- You may want to sit down before we announce this selection. With the 24th selection of the draft, the Bernie Williams franchise selects Tatum Bell. Third string running back, Broncos. With Jamal Lewis and several other 'more-likely-to-start-and-at-a-minimum-split-carries-with-less-than-3-other' RBs available, this was the pick. God, these things are entertaining. Draft Grade - D

4th Rd - Thomas Jones - See above under 3rd round. Grade - D- Maybe backup RBs are the Hammers this time around??

5th Rd - Lawrence Maroney - YES, backup RBs ARE the Hammers!! The second edition of 'The Hammer Philosophy' will be available for purchase on Amazon.com in a week. Maroney actually isn't that bad, but Dillon has been coming on strong in camp, so its likely a timeshare here at best. Grade- C

6th Rd - Heath Miller- With several more highly regarded TEs still available, probably not the best place to pick up Miller. Grade - C

7th Rd - Nate Burleson - awful last year, hoping to bounce back. Grade - B, Upside- high. Decent gamble, since he's got some Hammers in the tool belt already. I would have gone with Ahman Green or Curtis Martin here to fill things in some more. Gotta make sure that tool belt is weighed down enough to show some crack.

8th Rd - Marion Barber- Hammer. This actually isn't awful in my mind, assuming J. Jones (brother of the aforedrafted Thomas Jones) gets injured. Grade - B-

9th Rd - Carolina D - Ok pick here. Grade - B

10th Rd - Koren Robinson - Again, nothing exciting. Should have gone for some more backup RBs. I'll die if all the backup RBs taken here have the same bye weeks.

11th Rd - Santana Moss - nice keeper this late. - Grade - A. Should have been traded for a keeper RB. Bad franchising.

12th Rd - Kevan Barlow - Hammer!!! Hi -OH! Grade - C

13th Rd - Steve McNair - interesting QB selection with some other decent guys out there. Could turn out okay, or could hit the waiver wire in week three. Grade - C+

14th Rd - Josh Brown - kicker. N/A

15th Rd - Maurice Drew - HAMMER TIME !!! Out of six running backs, we're looking at a total of maybe 12 starts all season. This should be fantastic. Drew apparently has such a poor chance of making his team (not sure who), that he has yet to be listed in Yahoo. This does not bode well.

Working in reverse order here, this appears to eat up one of the 4 available non-playoff spots, so this looks like a plus for everyone else.