Tony, Tony, Tony!

We are almost to halftime, and here are some of the highlights from Tony Kornheiser on Monday Night Football:

- Joe Theismann made a comment about Clinton Portis needing to know where he is, Tony replied, "If he doesn't know that he's on the football field, then I think we all have a reason for concern."
- After Theismann rambled about the importance of batting down footballs, Kornheiser jokingly said, "If batting down balls are that important, they should probably just sign a couple of 7' 5" guys to play and challenge the quarterback to throw over them." Theismann did not get the joke, and said something about those guys not being able to move, Tony said, "So get a giraffe out there, you're telling me someone can accurately throw over a giraffe?!?"
- After Theismann and Tirico raved over a Santana Moss catch, Tony said, "That's my man, he's on my fantasy team! I tried to pick people who played Monday night games so I had a reason to stay up." They asked if he was really going to talk about that on the air, and he said, "I sure am, I hope it doesn't bore you."
- He also recommended that Tom Cruise and Daniel Snyder get together to make amusement park rides for Six Flags - a Mission Impossible ride, a Top Gun ride, but not a Rain Man ride because, "It would go to slow."
- Mailbag question, "Now that Greg Williams and Al Saunders are with the team, what exactly does Joe Gibbs do?" Tony's response, "This is the problem, he's not really sure. I'm trying to work something out to get him to drive my bus." Theismann rabbles.

He seems to be picking his spots, going long stretches without saying anything. This is not a bad thing. Theismann should try this. I can literally hear him getting ready to talk every time Tirico calls a play. I really think that Tony's new goal is to piss off Theismann so much that he quits by Week 5. Or at least, it should be.