CTY Abroad

CTY Correspondent #1 (because I was first) reporting live from Belgium!!! And yes, I ate fries today. Apparently the Belgiumesenese/Flems are quit pissy about the French stealing their freedom fries.

GFY France!

Lots to talk about in baseball, but I think ISS hit the biggest hot stove issue with his commentary on JD 'Coma' Drew. Good luck with that Sox fans.

Adam Eaton- 3 years, $24m! Hi-OOOOOOOOO! The entire Eaton family has been at Walmart all day buying EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. It's like a magical extended Black Friday, and its all on the Phils. I look forward to the Mets beating the shit out of him 6 times next year. I figure he's a lock to be the random in-division pitcher who lines up to face the Mets every single series (like Ramon Ortiz on the Nats last year. 'Little Pedro' my ass).

Frank Catalonatto- more than 1 year, more than 1m...way more than 1m! Hi-OOOOOOOOOO! See above comments!!! Reports of the Catalonatto family wrestling the Eaton family for the last big screen TV at Walmart are in fact correct! The Eatons used their massive height advantage to pull out a W, however.

GFY Scrubby Baseball Players who happen to free agents in the right year!

(I've had a few chardonnays, what of it?)

Red Sox Hot Stove 2006

I've been trying to work up a good analogy for the Red Sox off-season. Instead, let's dive face-first into the big news this off-season...Boston has decided to out-source their annual search for pitching. Not to India, they are not Dell, instead a little closer to home. Some Japanese Pitcher (look, I am taking this one time to copy & paste the name Daisuke Matsuzaka, get over it) has cost the Maroon Foot Apparel $50 million for negotiation rights, provided the get a deal done.

This guy has #1 stuff, from what I've been told. He is an ace. He has 1,000 pitches. He can single-handedly win a pennant for a team. He could stop an asteroid barreling down on Earth with his own testicles. He makes Hiro from that hit NBC show look like a faggot. I get it, he's awesome. He's Japan's answer to Jesus. But, riddle me this, Batman, what happens when he puts up stats like this:

16-11, 5.01 ERA, 1.29 WHIP, 158 K, 74 BB, 204.2 IP

These aren't terrible stats for someone who is adjusting to facing AL hitting on a daily basis. They do, however, lick balls for anyone deemed to be "the savior" for the Red Sox pitching staff. So, before we start proclaiming this guy the next Curt Schilling, let us pause. He could equally be the next Josh Beckett. That is to say, a very good pitcher capable of fantastic performances, but not necessarily a perennial Cy Young Candidate.

While we're here....JD Drew for Man-Ram? Really? On no level does this make sense. Not from a production level, not from a financial level, not from a game-appearance level. Here are the instances in which singing JD Drew to a 5-year, $15million per year contract, while letting Manny and the 2 years @ $18 million per year go, makes sense:

- JD Drew manages to match Manny's production. He accomplishes this while realizing that not only is he actually right-handed (allowing for protection to Ortiz), but also that he is a man, and does not have a vagina (allowing him to play through hangnails, etc)

- The Red Sox take out a life insurance policy on JD Drew for $300 million. JD Drew bleeds to death internally. Theo Epstein denies any knowledge of crushing up glass for Drew's team meals

- Manny Ramirez can yield some ridiculous haul. I'm talking like sure-fire prospects back. If Victor Zambrano can yield Scott Kazmir, Man Ram had better be able to yield Ervin Santana & Brandon Wood, to start with.

- Manny Ramirez has some disease that the other team can't locate from a physical.

- JD Drew can also pitch. Much better and much more reliably than he can play outfield.

- JD Drew turns out to be half penguin. Thus allowing the Red Sox to beat all other teams into the Antarctic market. They can sell tons of jerseys there. Then it makes sense.

Back in Black

I am back, and I am wearing a black shirt. My mood is also black, as I am working on the day after Thanksgiving, having received a total of three phone calls not made by immediate family members of co-workers, or the wrong phone number. One of the three was anything worthwhile. In any case, sometime soon I will be attempting to make positive contributions to this blog again. In the mean time, does anyone remember that amazing goal Alexander Ovechkin scored last year from his back? No? Well, here you go...



Perhaps the only thing more impressive that I have ever seen in my life is this sweet re-enactment by some scamp in their backyard:

Happy Thanksgiving

To everyone that reads this blog...likely no one.

Just a quick rant before I slip into a coma:

I hate the NFL. Just when the come up with a great idea, they manage to screw it up. Having an 8 PM football game on thanksgiving evening would have been perfect. Everyone in America is sitting at home unable to move, flipping through the channels and seeing crappy choices - such as Gray's Anatomy. I guarantee you that the 8 pm game would get higher ratings than the crap fest they show on MNF (thats a blog for another time). But the NFL mucks it up by putting the game on a channel no one has. GFY NFL.

Happy Thanksgiving

To everyone that reads this blog...likely no one.

Just a quick rant before I slip into a coma:

I hate the NFL. Just when the come up with a great idea, they manage to screw it up. Having an 8 PM football game on thanksgiving evening would have been perfect. Everyone in America is sitting at home unable to move, flipping through the channels and seeing crappy choices - such as Gray's Anatomy. I guarantee you that the 8 pm game would get higher ratings than the crap fest they show on MNF (thats a blog for another time). But the NFL mucks it up by putting the game on a channel no one has. GFY NFL.

The Dr is in

“The blog is dead?” Well, it seemed that way for a while, but the I am back and better (read = just as crappy) than ever. Because of the ongoing ‘unpleasantness’ (this is defined as the absolute anal rapping I have experienced this fantasy football season), I have several more hours per week to devote to the blog. How will this translate? Likely one or two blogs a week, but its better than nothing. I am hoping to come up with some sort of weekly column, rather than just random ranting. But for now, randomness will work for the first column back.

A few observations:
1. I am enjoying the restraint Cashman is showing this offseason so far. He is actually getting good young pitchers in exchange for the garbage that they didn’t want. Granted, I think that Sheffield is better than Abreu, but there is no way they could have gotten the prospects if they dealt Abreu. I don’t know if there will be any big surprises this offseason from the Yanks. Last year I was quite surprised to see that the Yankees did indeed land Johnny Damon. I just don’t see that this year. I don’t see them getting involved in the Zito sweepstakes (aka. Vazquez/Pavano/Mulder/Hudson part V) and its seems less likely that ‘Plips’ will get shipped out of town. Although, maybe they could trade A-Rod for Javy Vazquez (oh wait, didn’t they basically give him away for that d-bag that had one good year and then sucked…what was his name again…)

2. Guitar Hero is taking the ROC by storm. Quite an enjoyable evening experienced by all. Ironic Steel and myself are still the best, based on the fact that we have played for about 250 hours each compared to everyone else having about an hour of experience. However, we may have increased the game’s sales by at least two, after TAD and Pasta seemed to be in heaven.

3. The Bills WON today. Wow.

4. Borat is hilarious.

5. Last, Soriano may have just gotten $136M from the Cubs to play centerfield. Correct me if I’m wrong, but he’s never PLAYED there before, right? I have to give them the benefit of the doubt, since the Chicago Cubs franchise has a long history of solid decision making and success…oh wait…

6. This also confused me because now I don’t know if I will be keeping Soriano in baseball. He may his 80 HRs there (granted, he will probably hit .235).

7. Last (+2), Lawnmower Man, GFY. You don’t know me and you have one friend in the league. No one wants you here, and I’m going to get your skinny arse tossed next year. GFY.