Being Dull

I've become dull. I really wanted to make a posting, since I've been silent for several days, and I can't think of anything to talk about.

Domanick Davis sucks ass, that's for sure. It's tough when the only thing preventing you from dropping your first round fantasy RB is yahoo's anti-collusion mechanism. What's the opposite of pulling a lovecchio?

The Yankees are running away with the AL East. Carl Pavano is a p*ssy. I enjoy how even espn is starting to run news articles about his injuries and then derisively mentioning that he complained of a 'pain in the buttocks' earlier this year. He's a crybaby. And a bad driver.

The Mets are 82-49 or something ridiculous like that. Dave Williams was loss-less in three starts for them, which should prove something. His wife must be stoked that for his three appearances he'll get voted a playoff share in the offseason of at least $50k. That's a lot of cleaning supplies for around the house. OH WHAMMY! Where's the brown guy? In his clean house, that's where.

Tall, Angry Drunk is hosting his own bachelor party this weekend. He's doing all the coordinating, email sending, direction giving, etc. That's tough. What's also tough, is he claims he has a wedding the next day and as such, can't have 42 beers on Saturday. I feel ripped off.

To pull a Lovecchio

Websters dictionary defines 'to pull a lovecchio' as the following:

Pull a lovecchio (v): the process of gaining an advantage in fantasy through pure luck, ie. a bench player performing well during a regular player's day off, OR, a player performing in a category they do not regularly contribute to, such as HR hitter getting a SB, or SB player hitting HR, OR, drafting a crappy RB who has no business playing football, who magically get traded and becomes a #1 RB.

This week Rafael Furcal is somehow 'pulling a lovecchio'. But unless he can start saving games, I dont think its enough for ISS to lose his grip on first, or for Muffin to climb into the money.

Live Blogs are Hard

As you can tell, the live blogging event of the century fell apart around Wednesday. The commitment by both parties was as expected. Staggering at first, decent after a day or so, dead by Thursday. Let the record show that Donnie handed Steel his lunch with a 7-4 victory to climb 1-1/2 games up. An inspired performance by TAD's sixth-place team led to a 9-3 loss for Donnie, while Steel was adequate enough to pull off a 7-4 victory over the Hammers. Steel enters the final week with a three-game lead, but locks heads with a scorching-hot Team Muffin (21-2-1 in last two weeks to climb into a tie for fourth), while Donnie does battle with the third place Poopy Farts. Still very much anyone's league.

Domanick Davis Out?

Online blogs are reporting Domanick Davis may be out for the full year due to injury. Nothing is known for sure at this point.

NFL Predictions

My picks for each division winner, wild cards, superbowl, etc.

AFC East: New England
AFC North: Pittsburgh
AFC South: Indianapolis
AFC West: Denver
Wild Cards: Cincinnati, Miami

AFC Championship: Pittsburgh over Denver

NFC East: NY Giants
NFC North: Chicago
NFC South: Carolina
NFC West: Seattle
Wild Cards: Dallas, Tampa Bay

NFC Championship: NY Giants over Carolina

Superbowl NY Giants over Pittsburgh

I have no idea what I'm doing...

Two things

Its been a while since my last blog, sorry for the delay.

So two quick points today. First, I am getting sick of all this A-Rod crap. I'm tired of hearing how much he sucks (which he does) and why he can't play in NY. As a Yankees fan, I say, get rid of him. The Rangers are paying about $8M of the 25, leaving about $17M for the Yanks. Send him to the offensively inept Angels (who took 2 of 3 from NYY) for a package including Ervin Santana, Brandon Wood/Dallas McPherson and another prospect/middle reliever. Shed some payroll, shed the drama, and most importantly, shed the purple lips...

Second, I think we all know how ESPN professes their man-love for certain teams/players and constantly rips others. I know those D-Bags on that network still try to cram it down our throats that Brett Favre is still a Top-3 NFL QB. Yes, he is one of the greatest QBs ever, but he's old and sucks now. I am declaring now, on 8/28/06 at 8:36 PM that JP Losman of the Buffalo Bills will have better stats than Favre this season. When I say better stats, I mean: More TD passes, less INTs, less Fumbles, Higher QB rating, more passing yards, more rushing yards. Suck on that Mort.

No one circles the wagons...

Hammer Away

Taking a break from the exciting world of steel sales, I have decided it is time to explain to the two people who accidentally clicked on this site and read all about our fantasy drafts the "hammer theory." I know what you're thinking, "What the hell is wrong with the authors of the website? I clicked on this to see some serious Yankee-bashing, and I read about someone drafting Matt Hasselbeck in the second round?" Deal with it. As an aside, my arm hurts. Not sure why. I appear to have bruised it at The Commish's wedding. Maybe TAD is angry that I (apparently) traded Clinton Portis to him for his fiancee a few weeks ago. Or, that I threw him under the bus when he informed his fiancee that he couldn't dance because he was engrossed in conversation. "It's OK man, I think keeping your lovely future bride happy is far more important, I think we're done here anyways."

So the Hammer Theory arose following to our Fantasy Baseball 2006 draft. Some background info. Bernie Williams, or Pasta-roni (in case you can't tell, he's super-Italian) had some less-than stellar keepers. Possibly due to the fact that his printed-out Yahoo sheet did a piss-poor job of selecting him a good team the year before. You know, because it doesn't necessarily take into consideration things like potential for the next year, offseason moves, dimensional changes to ballparks, etc. Relying instead on stats from the year before and overvaluing stolen bases and saves.

His one good keeper was Jake Peavy in the 6th round. Surprisingly good pick at that point in the draft, he must have had Peter Gammons on the phone at the time. Or he fell alseep and someone else made the pick for him. Fortunately for the defending champ of the league, Muffin Man, he opted to make his own offseason moves. Armed with the knowledge that starting pitchers are a complete crapshoot and help you twice a week in FBB, tops, he dealt a fifth round pick for the right to keep Roy Oswalt in the third round. For those of you keeping score at home, he would have three picks in the first six rounds. A tough task to beef up an offense whose backbone is Bobby Crosby.

Selecting 7th in the first round, and with the likes of Andruw Jones, Carlos Beltran, Aramis Ramirez, and Carlos Delgado available, BW opted to get the best fake pitching staff in the league, and drafted Randy Johnson. You read that correctly. At this point, five beers deep, I thought someone had slipped acid into my drinks. I was wrong. If nothing else, it gave me the opportunity to ask every subsequent round if Randy Johnson was still available, because I would be willing to "take a flier" on him in the 13th round. His logic (seriously): "I wanted to build the best pitching staff in the league." (The other two picks he made in the first six rounds: Carlos Beltran and Billy Wagner. Yep, another pitcher.)

In any case, a few months later, I developed the now-famous Hammer Theory. It went something like this, (please note: the original transcript has been lost, as I had been drinking heavily and none of the other people in the room were responsible enough to write it down)...

"It's like if we were all on a desert island, and we each had our own supplies. So we've all got some stuff, like meat, clothes, water, matches, etc. Except that Bernie Williams has two hammers. Now don't get me wrong, this is helpful in building a home, or smashing in someone's skull or whatever, but it's really only useful once in a while.

So, let's say a box of supplies lands on the island, and we're dividing them up. And we're all taking some food, and some water, and Bernie shows up and says, 'Oh look, a hammer. I want the best hammer collection on this island, I'll take that hammer.'

Someone says, 'You know that you have no food or water, you know, stuff that keeps you alive.'

He replies, 'You'll see. This hammer collection is going to keep me alive the longest.'

And it's not even a good hammer. It's like, one of those stupid hammers that has the ronded edge instead of the pry-bar. And the handle is kind of rotting, and it's all rusty and looks like it might crack. There was a nice, stainless steel hammer available in the box, but he liked the hammer because it had an orange handle, which is his favorite color."

So, yeah. Basically, BW's draft strategy is to become the strongest at a position with the lowest concern from other managers. Good stuff.

FBB/Bernie Williams

I hate my life right now. I am so angry that Brian Roberts opted to hit his fourth HR of the season on the off-day for Donnie's normal 2B. Not that it makes the offensive categories close at all, I'm just really angry right now.

On the plus side, I just found out that I play Bernie Williams in the first week of Football. Not only does he not have a 2nd starting RB (behind powerhouse Tatum Bell), not only does he not have a starting WR/RB, but he has Koren Robinson, who is going to get his ass suspended for driving drunk as balls 100 mph. What a douche bag. BW should change his team name to Team Douche Bag.

FBB Update 3

On day 3 of the epic matchup between Steel and Davenport, we're still seeing a tight matchup. As expected Davenport is flexing his offensive muscle while also faring surprisingly well in the pitching categories. It's 6-4 D'port with runs tied up and Steel with a slight advantage in average. More updates to follow. Of note, a huge afternoon by Miggy Cabrera has taken DD's lead in the power categories out to 6-16 vs 0-3, HR, RBI respectively. Steel may want to give his boy's a pep talk as they are picking some inopportune times to get their hits and have a meager OPS.

Muffin's Return to Glory

Following a disastrous year last year, the Muffin Man began planning for his Fantasy Baseball/Football 06 draft in October 05. As such, a strong draft was not only expected, but required. Muffin's disappointing last-place finish in Football came much to the delight of his fellow fantasy players, following last year's baseball regular season and playoff championships. As he sits in fifth place with three weeks remaining in baseball, we look forward to crowning a new champion. On to football...

1st round - "In the first round, he went with MY man, T.O. Quite simply, you need to get this man the ball in every situation. He is a playmaker, a talent unlike any other. The only way this pick could get any better is if T.O. had gone to Da U." Thank you, Michael Irvin! Having kept two RB's, and with back-to-back picks, Muffin did well to land the best WR on the board. He admitted to targetting Torry Holt, with Owens as his consolation prize. Since Owens will probably not be kept, making this pick as his first one was a smart decision. I won't even get into the negatives, as we all know a blow-up is coming, but probably not until after the season, and also that the hammy injury is nothing to worry about three weeks before the games matter.

2nd round - "Fast" Willie Parker - Very strong pick, as this is his third RB (having already kept LaMont Jordan and Ronnie Brown). Far and away the best guy left on the board, primarily because, unlike the remaining selections, there are no immediate threats to taking carries away. Questions remain if he can carry the work load/play in goal line sets. But with the garbage left, that is nit-picking at this point.

3rd round - LaMont Jordan. What an amazing pick in the third round. Whoever made this selection last year is a genius!

4th round - Donovan McNabb. I'm a little skeptical here. He's going to throw a ton, but to who? L.J. Smith and Brian Westbrook can only catch so many 5 yard passes. I have an inkling that he will be the new Steve McNair - centerpiece of the offense, but always banged up; and instead of long bombs, he throws dink-and-dunk passes. Having said that, Muffin Man did well to fill the QB spot, and I don't know that there was much better option out there. So, overall, a good pick, especially because this was actually a 5th-round pick.

5th round - Lee Evans. Throwing caution to the wind, and selecting a player on his favorite team, Muffin seems to reach a bit here. It's difficult for me to completely pan these picks, as I don't have a list of who else was available at the time of the pick (with all the trades). I mean, other than the fact that there really isn't a good QB to throw it to him, there is no OL to give him time to get downfield, and there is no real threat opposite him to prevent double-teams, Evans should have a fantastic year.

(While we're here...McGahee was the first "new" RB off our board. Is this because we live near Buffalo? Like, if the same draft took place in Austin, would they take McGahee? Or would the do the home-town thing and draft Davis? Because that was essentially the choice. If Muffin were a Texans fan, would he take Andrew Johnson or Eric Moulds? If he were a Niners fan, would he take Antonio Bryant? The answer to these last two questions are, "I hope not.")

6th round - Alge Crumpler. Funny tidbit here. Last year, I made a trade with the Muffin Man where I sent him Ronnie Brown & Crumpler for someone (Jake Plummer maybe?) and Clinton Portis. It's great to see the circle of life completed. Crumpler is an underrated TE. I think this may have actually been a 7th rounder, I don't know if we're caught up yet. Especially with the dearth of decent WR's in Atlanta, this is an awesome pick, as Vick usually finds him at least 5 times a game, and he's a truck.

7th round - Joseph Addai. Great pick here. Too bad we had Mort, and not Mel Kiper Jr. at this draft. All Mort did was yell that he should've taken Jay Cutler. Addai should be starting by week 7, at the latest, when Dungy realizes that Rhodes isn't worth the cloth his jersey is made from. Additionally, a great potential keeper if/when he actually does start. Unfortunately, I will be rooting for Peyton Manning's rotator cuff to shred on the opening play of the season (to add jet engine fuel to the forest fire that is Team Bernie Williams), which could stunt Addai's development.

8th round - Ronnie Brown. Wow. What kind of a genius made this selection? Seriously! He must the the smartest, most handsome person on the face of the planet! I bet he's hung like a rhino!

9th round - Michael Vick. I think we should have had an intervention at this point. After suffering through two years of Adam Dunn, who either homers or strikes out every at bat, I don't know how much more Muffin can handle. I am legitimately scared that Dunn has wound Muffin so tight, that we are a lingering McNabb injury and a 140-yard, 1 TD, 2 INT, 50 rush yard Vick game away from hearing the phrases "tall building," "high-powered rifle," and "fantasy sports" in the same sentence for the first time in CNN's history.

10th round - Reggie Brown. Mufifn opted to be the philanthropist here. He didn't want anyone to look at the draft board, and think they were getting Ronnie Brown. What a guy. Good pick, though, as McNabb will eventually have to throw to a wide receiver, even if it's not until Week 4. And Brown should become his go-to guy. If not, he could become the next FredEx, which would be entertaining if nothing else.

11th round - Eddie Kennison. Even Muffin hated this pick. Presumably because he is a #1 receiver who gets 50 catches a year. It's OK, WR's don't typically come into their own until they are 34, or whatever he is.

12th round - Lovie Smith. Big error here by Muffin, as he thought he was also required to draft a Fantasy Coach. Oh wait, L.J. Smith. I gotcha. Cornering the market on the Philly passing game. Especially valuable with Westbrook being injured.

13th round - Seattle. Defense. I'm going to take this time, rather than making my "yawn" comment, to tell you about It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. A terrific show. You should totally watch it. Or else.

14th round - Jay Feely. He's a kicker, whatever.

15th round - Mike Anderson. Extremely good pick, especially if Jamal Lewis continues to let his "friends" use his cell phone.

Dissecting Donny's Draft

Nice alliteration, huh? I'd tried to avoid mis-spelling words in the title of this blog, unlike my last one. Draft Recab?!? WTF?!?

Donny has not had much fantasy football success, although his baseball team is riding the best offense in the league. Coupled with adequate SPs, hes definetly looking at a bye in the first round of the playoffs. On to his draft.

Round 1: Domanick Davis. Its not good when your #2 RB is already complaining of a swollen knee. Sounds like Strephen Davis, in 2004, when for some reason I traded McGahee (when he was good) Isaac Bruce (when he was good) and Randy McMichael for Stephen Davis and Ashley Lelie before the season started. I'm glad that Donnie took Davis here, because if he fell to me, I would have felt forced to take him and his 9 starts this year.

Round 2: Tiki Barber. Solid keeper. Would go 4th in yearly leagues. He produces in the run game and the pass game. F-Brandon Jacobs, he sucks. Tiki will still get plenty of TDs even at 45 years of age.

Round 3: Anquan Boldin. Avoid injury and he's a top 5-6 WR (just like D. Davis is for RBs). Since he already had Hines Ward, its worth the risk

I thought I was going to try and rip this team apart, but its not happening yet. I guess I'm too Gammons-ian at heart. IF Boldin stays healthy, and IF Domanick Davis' leg doesnt fall off, then this team COULD finish in the top half of the league.

Round 4: Jamal Lewis. First rounder last year. I dont understand why he sucks all of a sudden. Hes only 26. Oh wait, it was probably that he carried the ball 35 times a game for 5 years, plus all the man love he received last off season. For Donny's sake, I hope he doesnt drop the pigskin as much as he dropped the soap in the slammer. ZING!

Round 5: Hines Ward. Nice pick. Double digit TDs last year.

Round 6: Andre Johnson. I'm sure Steel hates this pick. He's garbage right now. Carr sucks. But possession receiver and ex-Bill Eric Moulds is on the other side of the ball, so that might help. Plus, I think he went to, DA-U!

Round 7: Domanick Rhodes. 2 DOMANICKS!!! I dont know if they spell their names the same, but whatever. Kind of like my freshman year of college, when I had never met a person named Gabe, and lo and behold, there were 3 in my dorm alone. For this pick, I figured he would have gone with the longer term potential of Addai, but I guess Donny's is taking the "win now" approach after two years out of the playoffs. I wouldnt expect too much, but the Colts offense is solid.

Round 8: Chris Cooley. Does he still have eligibility at RB this year?

Round 9: Terry Glenn. I guess TO will take some pressure off, so his numbers should be equal to last year. I wouldnt expect those random 150 yard, 2 TD games like last year though.

Round 10: Drew Brees. I heard he joined a team that had to deal with some sort of weather issue last year. I'm not sure, can anyone confirm this?

Round 11: Vinatieri. I feel that kickers should not be taken until the 16 round.

Round 12: Trent Green. I had this dildo last year. Apparently he throws for 4000 yards a year, yet his best receiver is Kennison, so I dont know who's catching all these passes. He threw 17 TDs in 16 games...useless. He aggrevated me, and forced me to start Plummer...ugh. Donny should start Brees.

Round 13: Jerramy Stevens. See my best/worst picks posting for my comments.

Round 14: Miami. Well, they get to play the Jets and Bills twice, so thats a plus.

Round 15: Cedric Houston. He will be gone as soon as the jets trade for some other douchebag.

Overall, I thought I would be harsher than I was. Thats just the good ol' PG in me. Donnys has one solid RB and one solid WR. The problem, is that we need 2 WR, 2 RBs and a 5th of your choice. The two big Gammans-onian IFs: IF Domanick Davis can start 14 games and if Anquan Boldin stays healthy, he has 4 solid skill position guys. The TE, DEF, K and QB are basically on par with the rest of the league. He needs Jamal Lewis, Andre Johsnon or Domanick Rhodes to step up as a solid flex player. If this doesnt happen, he could struggle to cover bye weeks. I think he COULD make the playoffs IF all these things happen.

A Second Opinion: Steel's Draft Re-analyzed

In order to increase impartiality, we will be performing a second review of all bloggers' previously self-reviewed drafts. It's time to break down Steel's draft, Davenport-style (this would include several beers and lots of yelling if done live).

1st Rd- Torry Holt- With a bunch of mishmash left at RB, this is an okay pick at number 6. Having had Holt in the past, he always seems to put up big numbers on the year, but his week by week production varies greatly. I would have gone for TO before Holt.

2nd Rd - Chester A. Arthur Taylor - Viking RBs are historically crappy in fantasy due to their seemingly annual committee approach. Taylor apparently has established himself as the primary back, but I still think we could see a lot of Mewelde Moore this year. Too bad the Whizzinator has retired to the CFL.

3rd Rd - Rudi Johnson- Keeper pick. Solid work. Top 10 back in the third round, acquired for Clinton Portis.

4th Rd - Deshaun Foster- eh. I dunno.. DeAngelo Williams was impressive at Memphis last year, and looks to have a bright future. Foster has struggled throughout his career to establish himself as a clear cut number one. Lots of upside here, but could blow up in Steel's face.

5th Rd - Shockey- This pick appears to be by the numbers as most draft mags had him top 50. Personally, If I'm not getting Gates, I'm waiting until the run on TEs begins in the 8th or 9th round. Steel should have gone for a WR here. We'll see what impact that has on the starting roster.

6th Rd - Javon Walker- First year in Denver, with a potential QB controversy on tap. Should put up good numbers, but difficult to tell based on experience, as Denver has always been a one pony show with Rod Smith being a solid fantasy option and Ashley Lelie an embarassment to his family, friends, and concubines. I think Walker will do well, so I like the pick.

7th Rd - Joe Horn- Solid WR in the number 2 spot. Makes Shockey's selection at 5 more defensible.

8th Rd - Chris Brown- I had this guy last year, and it was miserable. He refuses to score TDs, and enjoys sitting out as many weeks as possible. And when he is playing, its announced five minutes before kickoff. If he goes to the Jets, could be a big payoff, but you're looking at a year of frustration and jaded trade offers to league mates with this guy on your team, because you hate to drop such a talented RB.

9th Rd - Byron Leftwich - Would have been there in the 11th or 12th, way too early to select. Should have gone WR here, (Branch or Kennison - #1s for their teams were still available. ) or even a backup RB to one of his starters (Chris Perry).

10th Rd - Pitt Defense - Seems to be okay every year. I echo the continuing disinterest in fantasy defenses.

11th Rd - Dallas Clark- I like this pick a lot. I was hoping he'd fall further so I could grab him late. Great spot starter in fantasy. Best pick of Steel's draft.

12th Rd - Carson Palmer- Here's your starter for the year. Seems like a wasted pick on Leftwich at this point. Could be a future year keeper at 12 or trade bait.

13th Rd - Vanderjagt- Kicker. zzzzzzzzz

14th Rd - Troy Williamson- WR/Vikings. Probably a reach to draft this guy, but has a ton of potential and might start to come into his own in year two. Generally the rule on WRs seems to be their 3rd season is a breakout, but could be a good spot starter against poor defenses late in the season.

15th Rd - Michael Bush - RB/Louisville - I'm not sure how I feel about this. I had yet to hear the scuttlebutt that Bush is a top 5 draft pick, who would be an immediate starter. But there appeared to be some research performed surrounding this pick, so I'll take Steel's word for it. Seems to be a big risk with the impact of byes on one position spots like Kicker and Defense, to have an empty roster spot all year. We'll hold judgement on this selection until draft day 2007. If a team like the Jets or Texans take him, its gets an A, if the Cheifs end up with him, forget it.

Overall, a decent roster assembled, with a clear strength at TE and top two RBs. Second WR spot may be up the in air, as well as the Flex spot, but on paper, it saddens me to admit, that this team has playoffs written all over it.

Draft Recab: Big Brother

Big news for our readers. The fantasy baseball season is winding down. In a little over two weeks, we will have complete analysis looking back at the draft, trades, waiver wire pick-ups and playoff projections. But, for now, lets talk FOOTBALL!

This morning, I will assess the draft of Big Brother. He struggled with keepers early on in the offseason, even contemplating keeping Domanick Davis in the first round. A few trades with the Commish and the Lawnmower man netted him Cedric Benson in the 6th and Brian Westbrook in the 2nd respectively. A few minutes before the draft started, he traded up from the 8th spot in the first round to the 5th spot in a trade with Lawnmower man.

1st Round: Marvin Harrison. I talked to Mort yesterday, and he told me that Big Brother's thought when trading up was hoping that Dittah McGahee would fall to him. When he didnt, he decided to go WR, and took starvin Marvin. I personally rated TBGH higher, but there is no arguing that Harrison will have double-digit TDs and it very likely to lead all WRs in this category, especially with the loss of Edge in Indy.

2nd Round: Brian Westbrook. Pedro Gomez just called me and let me know that Westbrook hurt his foot and is out for the rest of the preseason. Apparently Gomez is now following Westbrook's foot on a daily basis instead of Barry Bonds' massive dome. Good pick considering what was available. Expect 1200 all purpose yards and 8 TDs, split evenly between rushing and receiving.

3rd Round: Corry Dillon. Even with the spectre of Maroney, this is a good pick. Dillon had 12 TDs last year, even with minimal rushing yards and apparenly is looking good in camp.

4th Round: No pick due to trade.

5th Round: Dante Culpepper. Could be huge, or just average. Either way, he's as good as any other QB he could have taken here.

6th Round: Cedric Benson. Good long-term keeper potential, even if he platoons this year. The Bears have a lot of money invested in him.

7th Round: DeAngelo Williams. When DeShawn has his usual injury, he'll be good. Not enough consistent playing time this year, but good long term keeper. Big Brother could have his top 2 RBs in 2007 in rounds 6 and 7. Pretty solid.

8th Round: No pick due to trade.

9th Round: Kevin Curtis. Could start putting up Isaac Bruce numbers. Concerned about him as a #2 WR, but the Rams like to throw, even if Martz is gone.

10th Round: Ernest Wilford and Braylon Edwards. Between these two and Curtis, it figures that one of them will emerge as Big Brother's #2 wideout. If not, they will all be dropped for WRs off to hot starts and backup defenses and TE to cover bye weeks.

11th Round: Vernon Davis. Highest paid TE in history. Will likely get 80% of Alex Smith's 1000 yards passing and 8 TD passes this year. Risky starting a rook at TE.

12th Round: Chris Perry and Drew Bennett. See round 10 comments.

13th Round: Daniel Graham. I think he just blocks now. Kind of like Robert Royal.

14th Round: Tampa Bay defense. Any time other NFL teams use a defense named after you, it probably means your defense is good.

15th Round: Phillip Rivers. Good pick for the free keeper.

Overall, if Westbrook can stay healthy and if Cedric Benson takes over as the starter, could make a playoff run. Far and away better than the Pasta-roni franchise.

The Defending Champs Draft

The defending champs last year, Team Equal Opportunity, broke through its consecutive poor fantasy sports to actually win something. Outside of last year, I believe he averaged a 8.7th place finish. Coming in first has its benefits, as he was able to re-draft Shaun Alexander, then keep Steven Jackson (round 3), and Chris Chambers (round 10). On to the picks...

Round 1 - Shaun Alexander. God, it must have been awesome to get the third pick last year. I wouldn't know, I was picking 10th. It must have been even better when the commish inexplicably passed on Alexander for Priest "Gimpy Hips" Holmes. You see, the commish has a fetish for older running backs due for injuries. He actually has porno mags of Ahman Green and Priest Holmes having surgery on their legs. It's sick. The one good thing here is the "Madden Curse." Couple that with the karma of TEO spending his Fantasy Football winnings on an area rug, anything is possible. TEO better hope Alexander doesn't enjoy the night life, or he could end up a carrot, a la Ken Hamlin.

Round 2 - Julius Jones. This pick works for one reason. Bill Parcells has tried EVERYTHING to make him not the featured back, yet he continues to get the majority of the carries. Hopefully, he's going to do the smart thing and get Barber in round 6-7, to corner the market on Dallas RBs.

Round 3 - Steven Jackson (keeper). If you're keeping score at home, TEO is 3 for 3 with players he had last year. Fortunately for him, it shouldn't take seven weeks of the media asking why Mike Martz throws the ball 70 times a game before Jackson gets more than 14 carries.

Round 4 - Todd Heap. Another player from last year. TEO is clearly afraid that people are going to raid his championship team, not realizing the reason he won last year was Alexander's weekly output of 150 yards w/ 3 TD's.

Round 5- Derrick Mason. Whenever I go into a draft, I always think to myself, "Get as many members of the Ravens passing attack as possible. It is absolutely lethal." Steve McNair should resolve this, though, as he is a spry 32 years old, with the body of a 40-year-old. Seriously, it's the second pre-season game and he's already questionable with a sternum/hand injury.

Round 6 - Marc Bulger. A good pick here, as Mike Martz throws the ball 50 times a game. Wait, what? The Rams have a new coach? One who wants to differentiate himself by running the ball more? Oh, shit.

Round 7 - Jerry Porter. Fortunately for TEO, Porter will eventually realize that he has no marketable skills beyond football, and will have to actually play to improve his trade value. Unfortunately for TEO, he will still have Aaron Brooks throwing to him. But as long as Porter runs behind the line of scrimmage, he should be good for 80-100 receptions.

Round 8 - Donte Stallworth. OK, at this point, I have to ask. How many years does a wide receiver get before we label him a "bust" and make it fantasy etiquette to not draft him anymore? Maybe Donte Stallworth and Ashley Lelie can join forces to form one Mega-Wide Receiver. They each go for about 30 catches, 500 yards, 4 TDs. If we combine them, they can become a legit force.

Round 9 - Neil Rackers. The run on former EOP players resumes! A kicker in the 9th round? It's a good thing he pulled the trigger on this one, because I, for one, was going to draft his ass in about three rounds.

Round 10 - Chris Chambers. Good keeper pick. I would like to take this time to defend my own draft, which hopefully will be skewered eventually. You may not like my picks, especially my early ones, but let the record show that I had 5 players that I drafted last year who were kept in this year's draft. And in baseball, my keepers were in rounds 1, 14, and 15...next year, they will be rounds 7, 13, 14, 15. Call it luck, call it skill. But in any case, I should be getting paid to drunkenly make late round selections.

Round 11 - Curtis Martin. I don't know what to say, except that we are on day 3 of the post-draft, and Martin is already on the waiver wire.

Round 12 - Baltimore. Defenses. They suck. A good defense to have, and it compliments Mason and Heap well in the "bye week" issues.

Round 13 - Kurt Warner. Sleeper alert! Putting on my Peter Gammons hat...Leinart is going to learn the system, but Warner is the quarterback of the present. The offensive line is going to be improved, and they're going to go out and get another guard. If Warner can stay healthy, with those wide receivers, he's an MVP sleeper here. With Deuce Lutui and Leonard Davis, the left side of their line is set through 2010. This is a team on the rise, for sure.

Round 14 - Keyshawn Johnson. Is this draft over yet?

Round 15 - T.J. Duckett. This round is a free keeper. Duckett has disappointed to date, but with what's available, and with his pea-sized brain unable to comprehend the concept of stashing away college RB's for the future, this is a worthwhile risk. Unfortunately, Duckett will probably be dropped before the start of the season, and Warrick Dunn will probably suffer a season-ending injury in Week 3.

WIC goes BIC (Best in Class)

Steel- Hope you didn't just see what I saw. Reyes just jacked his third homer of the game out. A fellow Met fan scoffed earlier this year when I predicted that Reyes would go at least 20-20-20 (2b-3b-HR) in the next few years, but there's still an outside chance he does it this year. Sick. Too bad the Mets are sucking ass this week.

Stat Tracker/Yankees/Mets Games Updates

Going with the semi-live updates, here's your up-to-the minute updates:

7:29 - Michael Kay states that A-Rod is a "much better" hitter from the 5-hole, "...for some reason." I can think of one reason -- less pressure. Exhibit 576: Abreu is on 2nd, Giambi is on first, it is 3-2....

7:30 - Strike 3. Advantage, Steel.

7:33 - Boston-Detroit, 0-0 after 2, Schilling coming back for more shortly. One strikeout so far.

7:36 - Al Leiter is rambling about Greg Maddux and his "vintage" stuff. Why does Al Leiter have a job with the Yankees? He was a Yankee killer last year, and he was on their staff. I thought George Steinbrenner had former players who played poorly executed. Anyone seen Raul Mondesi recently? Why can't they just have Paul O'Neil on all the time? I think it would be terrific if he slammed his headset on the ground after giving the incorrect stats or mis-pronouncing a name.

7:40 - Switching to the Mets game, Shane Victorino hits a 2-run triple, taking a couple of RBI's away from Utley and Howard. Awesome. Utley steps up, Ry Ho on deck.

7:43 - Utley down on strikes. Lame.

7:45 - Ry Ho flies out to left.

Due to bad luck and fear of civil action from Bill Simmons, we will now stop the time-stamp portion of the draft. Does referring to myself in the third person open me up to potential lawsuits from every other blogger?

FBB Resumed

We're hoping to get more posts today, as Steel's Acceptable Level of Clean Clothes (ALoCC) has been satisfied, and the good people at Sears won't do brake jobs at night. Apparently they are known for quality automobile work, and not convenience and low price. Oh wait...

A few points:

- Why do baseball announcers feel the need to use words like manifestation? You're going to mis-speak in about ten minutes, Jim Kaat, don't try to fool me into thinking you're smart. Remember, I'm the one with the college education, you pretentious ass.
- Jose Reyes has given Donnie another category by leading off with a home run. I hope you die, you douche bag.
- Key pitchers tonight: Curt Schilling for Donnie, Eric Bedard for Steel (whose Steel Teammate, Miguel Tejada, just dropped a diving catch, keeping the inning alive)
- From the "I realize I am immature" files: I still giggle every time I see the commercial for that terrible-looking made-up college movie where the kid in the hot dog outfit implores people to ask about his wieners. Genius? No. Funny? You betcha!

The Commish's draft

Today, I will look at last year's 3rd place team, the Commish. He enters the draft with the best keeper by far, LJ in the 8th. He also holds the top TE in Gates in the 5th.

1st Round: Already armed with the best player in FFB, he mearly needed to add a second RB, and he chose McGahee. Now I'm a Bills fan, and I drafted Willis 7th overall last year, so I am torn. Bottom line, the Bills cant be any worse, and Willis basically stopped trying the second half of the year. I'd expect similar yardage, possibly a few more receptions and around 8 TDs. Looking back, the best remaining RB at this point was probably Reggie Bush, but he couldn't justify taking a rookie this early.

2nd Round: We talked a lot before the draft about which WR might fall, and I kept telling him that I expected Randy Moss to fall. He did. Good #1 WR, even with his antics, good for over 1000 yards and double digit TDs, even with the inept Aaron Brooks at QB.

3rd Round: Filling the flex position, the Commish selects Reuben Droughns next. Even with dumb luck, will have to improve on his 2 TD campaign from '05. Expect 6 TDs, even with a crappy O-Line.

4th Round: Roy Williams. Former #1 draft pick by the Lions...surprise, he's a WR! Nice sleeper, hailed as the next 'Big Game' Holt.

5th Round: Antonio Gates, keeper. Even with the QB switch in SD, he's still the top TE by far.

6th Round: Eli Manning. A pick that elated the Commish, as he's a Giants fan. Fine pick here, just like all the other QBs, I dont see a huge difference, even including Peyton.

7th Round: Rod Smith. A staple on my franchises the last two years. He'll get the yards, and maybe more TDs, if Javon Walker isn't all the way back from his injury.

8th Round: Larry Johnson. Yikes. Will likely average 1.5 TDs per week. Another benefit is that the Chief's arent good enough to clinch their division by the 12th week, so he will still be working hard during fantasy playoff time.

8th Round: An extra pick from his trade of Cedric Benson. Took the top Def last year in Chicago. Defenses bore me, but a fine pick.

9th Round: Deion Branch. If he plays, he's the Pats #1. Who cares at this point, the Commish will likely drop him for a backup Def during the Bear's bye week.

10th Round: Derrick Blalock. Who knows who the Jets starting RB will be. In all likelihood, its someone who's not yet on their team. Either way, I dont think Blalock would supplant LJ or Willis in the lineup, and The Commish would likely use a 3rd WR in the flex spot before this guy.

11th Round: Mark (or maybe Michael) Clayton. I forget who he plays for. Whatever, waivers by week 2.

12th Round: No pick due to Cedric Benson trade.

13th Round: Aaron Brooks: For my sake, I hope he's good since I have Lamont Jordan. I have a feeling the Commish will pick up another QB during Eli's bye week, since Brooks sucks. Best stat was on PTI when they said he had 27 TD passes...3 years ago!

14th Round: Josh (or Jeff?) Reed. Whatever.

15th Round: Ben Watson. I think he's a tight end. Obviously Gates is way better. Watson will get one start when the Chargers are on their bye.

Overall, even if he didnt draft any other players, The Commish would likely make the playoffs on LJ alone. Just like last year, he'll need one of his other RBs to perform. I'd expect Willis or Droughns to fill that role. The WRs have some question marks, but I'm personally really high on Roy Williams and Randy Moss was a first round fantasy selection in our league two years in a row. As long as LJ doesn't have a huge collapse and as long as one of his other RBs steps up as a solid #2 RB, this team will likely find itself in the championship game.

More FFB Draft Coverage

Continuing with our unrivaled coverage of this past Sunday's football draft, we present another team analysis. Today we'll tackle Tall Angry Drunk's team. By virtue of somehow losing the championship last year, he picked second, while keeping Clinton Portis (2), acquired in a Rudi Johnson trade, and Steve Smith (6).

1st Rd / 2 pick- Edge. Top 4 RB without spending a keeper. Clearly a best in class maneuver. Maybe Pasta-roni (aka the hammer compiler) should take some draft tips from him.

2nd Rd - Clinton Portis - great trade until half an hour later during the draft when he dislocated his shoulder during a preseason game. Difficult to take pity on one of the league favorites. Quite a drop off from Dunn (next round) to 4th RB which could be particularily painful during the early weeks if Portis misses more time than expected.

3rd Rd - Warrick Dunn- eh, decent. Not much else to do here, with the upper group of receivers off the board.

4th Rd - Tj Housh- Good second WR in fantasy to pair with Steve Smith, assuming Palmer comes back ok.

5th Rd - Tom Brady- From 20 feet away TAD and Tom Brady look pretty similar, so this pick makes sense on a lot of levels.

6th Rd - Steve Smith- keeper. Should be excellent, assuming he doesnt pull his even-numbered-year stinker here.

7th Rd - Randy McMichael - might be a reach here in the 7th. Generally seems to put up good numbers, and could have a career year with Culpepper. Key word - could. Might have been flustered by Pasta-roni taking Heath Miller just prior to this and been confused over who was still available at TE.

8th Rd - Lendale White- could contribute this year if he doesn't keep spitting on his teammates. With the Lee Suggs trade now falling apart, the door remains open for Chris Brown to go to NY, which would give White more touches. Travis Henry will likely be out on the road all system arm wrestling Patrick Ewing for the title of World's Ugliest Athlete.

9th Rd - Keenan Ivory Wayans McCardell - He's still playing?

10th Rd - Mike Bell - As selected during the draft: "Whose that Bell guy in Denver? Mike? Yeah, Ok, I'll take him." Way to do your homework, buddy. We should have given you Curtis Martin as a reward.

11th Rd - Amani Toomer - Apparently still the no. 2 in NY. He'll be on waivers by week 2.

12th Rd - NY Defense - Giants, I think, not Jets. Defenses are annoying in fantasy foosball.

13th Rd - Antawn Randle El - I'm curious to see what he can do as a member of the 5-10 and under receiving corps in Washington.

14th Rd - Rian Lindell- This will make missed Bills field goals from 32 yards extra painful for TAD. Not a good way to avoid drinking 30 packs of Stones in a single sitting.

15th Rd - Chris Simms- Mort was ALL OVER THIS pick. He loved it. He practically tore his light purple polo shirt off himself in happiness.

Overall, a decent draft. The key to a playoff spot will likely be the health of Clinton Portis.

FBB Update 2

The longest live blogging event in the history of CTY continues today with an updated look at the DD/Steel matchup.

Team Davenport carries a small lead in several offensive categories, as well as the benefit of a strong pitching performance by Jeff Francis, a recent free agent pickup, who has come up big in four consecutive starts since joining the 'Worst in Class' franchise. However, it was the crappy pitching by Jose Mesa following Francis' departure with a 2-0 lead and two runners on in the 8th that has left WIC in a hole. Mesa promptly served up a 3 run shot and then in true WIC fashion (see Pudge for example), went ballistic and incited a bench clearing brawl. This cost WIC a W, and a tie in the win column.

After day 1, its WIC/DD 7, Steel/Only St*t***** 3. (yeah, guess what word that is)

The Battle Continues....

Lackey is pulling the typical John Lackey start of late. Good 1st, bad second...downhill from there. A-Rod leads off the inning, but the Yankees haven't covered the spread yet. He works the count from 2-0 to 3-2, and...walks on a very close pitch.

In related news, one of Pasta-roni's selections, Koren Robinson, fumbled away the opening kickoff. That's -2.

FBB Update 1

Steel has jumped out to an early 7-0 lead on the strength of Chutley and RyHo assisting in the beatdown of Pedro at the New Vet. Lackey and Robertson are off to a decent start, but I don't think stattracker has posted a few ERs Lackey gave up this inning yet. Too early to tell what if anything any of this means. Probably nothing.

Clash of the Titans Preview

I had a very long post written, but for some reason deleted it. I think it was because in the analyzation of the positions, I got angry. We'll give you the abridged version:

Background: Steel had a commanding 6 game lead two weeks ago. Moderate wins of 7-5 have caused him to give up ground to Donnie, who is coming like a freight train for first. A battle of epic proportions is upon us. The warriors are ready, the generals poised, the gods themselves have chosen sides. The preview...

C - Victor Martinez (Steel) v. Pudge (Donnie)

Vic the Stick is a late-season addition, joining the franchise last year. Pudge just flipped his shit and may literally murder someone. Advantage: Steel

1B - Ryan Howard (Steel) v. Jim Thome/Justin Morneau/Jason Giambi (Donnie)

Ry Ho is a machine. Plain and simple. The Phillies should patent his metal bone structure, where most of his powers are derived from. Unfortunately, he is only one 40-HR hitter, as opposed to 3 30-HR guys. We're hoping Donnie goes with the cold hand here. Advantage: Donnie

2B - Chase Utley (Steel) v. Bip Roberts/Mark Loretta (Donnie)

Chase Utley is God. No further comments required. Advantage: Steel

SS - Miguel Tejada (Steel) v. Jose Reyes (Donnie)

Changing of the guards, so to speak. Tejada has been considered the best for a while. Reyes provides more R's, SB's, etc. Tejada probably the bigger HR threat, but he's also old and fat. Advantage: Donnie

3B - Aramis Ramirez (Steel) v. Pay-Rod (Donnie)

A-Ram has been a force of nature since the All-Star break. In fact, the National Weather Service has announced that the first damaging hurricane will be called Hurricane Aramis. However, Pay-Rod is Pay-Rod. I am banking on the fact that he plays 4 of 7 games vs. the Angels and BoSox. As long as the score isn't 10-2, it should be a buffet of GIDPs and Ks. Still, he plays the O's for three games in the middle of the week. Advantage: Donnie

OF - Jason Bay, Juan Rivera, Brad Hawpe (Steel) v. Miguel Cabrera, Carlos Lee, Andruw Jones (Donnie)

I can't even comment on this. It makes me too depressed. Instead, I will mock Jones for his poor spelling skills. Mr. & Mrs. Jones, GFY. Advantage: Donnie

Util - Scott Rolen (Steel) v. The Three Amigos (Donnie)

Scott Rolen has a bad back. Jim Thome's knee is fine. For now [holding metal pipe]. Advantage: Donnie

SP - John Lackey, CC Sabathia, Eric Bedard, Tim Hudson, Nate Robertson, Ian Snell, Noah Lowry (Steel) v. Kevin Millwood, Greg Maddux, Jeff Francis, Scott Kazmir, Joe Blanton, Chris Capuano, Al Reyes, Curt Schilling (Donnie)

The Steel Curtain, as my rotation used to be known, has been cracking of late. Francisco Liriano is currently on the DL, John Lackey has been sucking balls, and the rest of the guys are too incosistent. Donnie is banking amazing starts from Kazmir-Francis-Schilling, with decent starts from the rest. This is where Steel needs to make up ground. Letters have been written to all starters, deatiling the importance of their games this week. Push

RP - K-Rod, Jon Papelbon, Joe Nathan (Steel) v. Eddie Guadardo, Joe Borowski, Chad Cordero (Donnie)

If Steel loses saves this week, he is in big-time trouble. Advantage: Steel

The keys to this week are how many offensive categories Steel can take. If either team wins by bigger than 7-5, the league could be over.

Best/Worst Picks of '06 - Early Analysis

Mort conferred with Mel Kiper, Jr. and named the best and worst draft picks for each franchise in the 2006 Gridiron Keeper League Fantasy Football Draft. This list excludes keepers, ie. the Moose Knuckles keeping of Larry Johnson in the 8th round is the best pick/value of the entire league, but will not count on this list.

Equal Opportunity:
Best pick: His keepers were good, but the draft was so-so. I'd go with Todd Heap (4th round). After watching the 30 minute ESPN video re-capping the Ravens 2005 season, it seemed like Heap scored 16 TDs last year. He'll likely score 8 and could finish second in that category for TEs behind Gates.
Worst pick: Julius Jones (2nd). Would be a good pick if he ever played more than 9 games a season, Parcells didnt hate him and Barber III wasnt around.

Tall Angry Drunk:
Best pick: Mike Bell (10th) If he starts, this is huge. Could have 1200 yards and 10-12 TDs.
Worst pick: Lendale White (7th) Too early and two other RBs in the mix. May be better a better pick in 2007.

The Commish:
Best pick: Roy Williams (4th) In a Martz offense, could be the next Torry 'Big Game' Holt. If he's not, Matt Millen may just draft another WR in the first round next year.
Worst pick: not too many, but I'd say Deion Branch (9th). Good if he plays, but he may hold out. If he tries to come back, Bellicheck may murder him and bury him in one of his signature hoodies.

Pasta-roni:
Best pick: Wow, um...Lawrence Maroney (6th). If not this year, could be starter next year on a solid team that plays in a division with terrible defenses. Unfortunately, pasta-roni will drop him for a back-up kicker during Josh Brown's bye week.
Worst pick: So many choices, but I'd say Peyton Manning (1st round). With no pick until the third round, he needed a RB, but got a Top 7 QB. Yikes.

Lawnmower man:
Best pick: Greg Jones (9th) Taken as a handcuff to Fred Taylor, could end up being the starter, as early as week 1.
Worst pick: Matt Hasselbeck (2nd) He's good, but QBs of equal value were taken 8 rounds later.

Ironic Steel:
Best pick: Michael Bush (15th) This pick sparked controversy, but he could be the top RB in the NFL draft in 2007. Unfortunately, that may mean he heads to the Jets or 49ers.
Worst pick: Joe Horn (5th) Again, a team without many bad picks, but with Tolt and Javon Walker already on his squad, could have waited for another WR.

Donny Davenport:
Best pick: Anquan Boldin (3rd) Could easily put up 100 rec, 1400 yds, 12 TDs. Or get hurt in week 2.
Worst pick: Jerramy Stevens (13th) He will enrage the rest of the league as he is constantly offered in trades throughout the year. Plus he sucks at football.

Big Brother:
Best pick: DeAngelo Williams (7th) As soon as Deshaun Foster injurs his ankle and ruins his father's fantasy football season, Williams will be the starter. Great keeper potential.
Worst pick: Dante Cullpepper (5th) Only because of the round he was drafted. He was the top QB 2 yrs ago. So its really not that bad.

Single Andy:
Best pick: Samkon (sp?) Gado (8th round) Went from 6th on the packer depth chart last year to surprise starter. Ahman Green is old and hurt and Najeh Davenport is busy dropping deuces in girls closets. Could be a huge steal.
Worst pick: Not too many choices, Single andy was a victim of poor draft position and the keeper situation. Either David Givens (8th) or Mush Muhammad (9th) wins this award.

Muffins:
Best pick: Joseph Addai (7th) On a high powered offense, could start by midseason. Good keeper value.
Wost pick: Lee Evans (5th) first year as a #1 WR, terrible offense, terrible QB, always plays in the snow. Will put up as many 1 rec, 12 yd games and 5 rec, 80 yd, 1 td games.

A Trainwreck Analyzed

Last night, everyone's favorite yankee loving franchise, aptly named "Bernie Williams" this year, embarked on a mission to compile the worst fantasy football team possible. Not really, but that sure is what it seemed like.

Armed with keeper selections Chad Johnson (2) and Santana Moss (11), the squad began in a deep hole with no Running Backs. Utilizing the ever popular (and historically failing) "Hammer" philosophy (see 'The Hammer Philosophy' Ironic Steel Salesmen, Steel Publishing, 2005 for full analysis), BW set out to compile as many Hammers (WRs in this case) as possible.

Here's the ugly recap.

1st Rd - 4th pick- Faced with a glaring deficiency at RB and a dearth of available RBs, and with no draft choice until no. 24, the logical decision would be to take Domanick Davis/Kevin Jones/Rueben Droughns/Julius Jones, ANYBODY who plays RB. Instead, BW selected the fantastically overrated Peyton Manning to the joy of all participating. Which is good, because if he had waited until 24 to try and take a quarterback, Matt Hasselbeck would have been gone as well to Lawnmower Man, who must have been snorting Miracle-Gro all afternoon and evening. Draft Grade -D

2nd Rd - Chad Johnson - keeper. Grade- B+ not bad.

3rd Rd- You may want to sit down before we announce this selection. With the 24th selection of the draft, the Bernie Williams franchise selects Tatum Bell. Third string running back, Broncos. With Jamal Lewis and several other 'more-likely-to-start-and-at-a-minimum-split-carries-with-less-than-3-other' RBs available, this was the pick. God, these things are entertaining. Draft Grade - D

4th Rd - Thomas Jones - See above under 3rd round. Grade - D- Maybe backup RBs are the Hammers this time around??

5th Rd - Lawrence Maroney - YES, backup RBs ARE the Hammers!! The second edition of 'The Hammer Philosophy' will be available for purchase on Amazon.com in a week. Maroney actually isn't that bad, but Dillon has been coming on strong in camp, so its likely a timeshare here at best. Grade- C

6th Rd - Heath Miller- With several more highly regarded TEs still available, probably not the best place to pick up Miller. Grade - C

7th Rd - Nate Burleson - awful last year, hoping to bounce back. Grade - B, Upside- high. Decent gamble, since he's got some Hammers in the tool belt already. I would have gone with Ahman Green or Curtis Martin here to fill things in some more. Gotta make sure that tool belt is weighed down enough to show some crack.

8th Rd - Marion Barber- Hammer. This actually isn't awful in my mind, assuming J. Jones (brother of the aforedrafted Thomas Jones) gets injured. Grade - B-

9th Rd - Carolina D - Ok pick here. Grade - B

10th Rd - Koren Robinson - Again, nothing exciting. Should have gone for some more backup RBs. I'll die if all the backup RBs taken here have the same bye weeks.

11th Rd - Santana Moss - nice keeper this late. - Grade - A. Should have been traded for a keeper RB. Bad franchising.

12th Rd - Kevan Barlow - Hammer!!! Hi -OH! Grade - C

13th Rd - Steve McNair - interesting QB selection with some other decent guys out there. Could turn out okay, or could hit the waiver wire in week three. Grade - C+

14th Rd - Josh Brown - kicker. N/A

15th Rd - Maurice Drew - HAMMER TIME !!! Out of six running backs, we're looking at a total of maybe 12 starts all season. This should be fantastic. Drew apparently has such a poor chance of making his team (not sure who), that he has yet to be listed in Yahoo. This does not bode well.

Working in reverse order here, this appears to eat up one of the 4 available non-playoff spots, so this looks like a plus for everyone else.

Muffin's draft continued

Well, my meeting only took 10 minutes, and the next one isnt for an hour, so I'll finish up.

Round 5/Pick #50: At this point, I plan on taking a WR in round 6, so its either a TE or QB here. I hadn't planned on taking either of these two positions until round 10 or 11, but I saw Donovan McNabb still sitting there at this point. Now I know he was hurt for 7 games last year, and I know he doesn't have TO, but only a year ago he was a second round pick. I'll take my chances on him. Andy Reid loves to throw, and Westbrook is always hurt. Granted, he wont put up much better numbers than about 7 other Qbs remaining but oh well. In looking back at the draft, this is one of the picks I'm most excited about.

Round 6/Pick #51: Time for WR#2. Again, going into the draft, I targeted 4 guys for this spot, TJ Housh, Roy Williams, Donald Driver and Lee Evans. The only one still available at this point was Lee Evans, and I was happy to have him. Its always nice to have one player from your favorite team, even if that team will have one of the bottom 3 offenses in the league. Regardless, as long as JP losman wins the starting job in B-Lo, I'm expecting 8-10 TDs for Lee. However, he may only have 600 years receiving...

Round 6/Pick #54: This is the 6th rounder I received from Ironic Steel in the LJ trade (not the good LJ, the other one - Lamont Jordan). At this point, I dont have a kicker, def or te. Well, f-those other two positions, I draft Alge Crumpler here. Yes, Vick is very inconsistent and crappy at QB, and may only have 1500 yards passing and 12 TD passes this year, but half of that will go to Crumpler. I got him in a trade from Ironic Steel last year (yes, we trade a lot) and I was happy with him. I remember sitting at the dinning room table with my family at thanksgiving, and hearing the voice in the other room announce that Crumpler had just caught his second TD pass of the game from Vick (whom I also had I my team). I remember smiling and thinking that Tall Loud Drunk was probably choking on a drumstick at that point, as he was getting owned by the worst team in the league.

Round 7/Pick #70: Before the draft, I had hoped to get one of the rookie RBs at some point. Maroney and DeAngelo were off the board early, but Addai managed to stay around. I was excited about this pick as well, especially since Rhodes is a FA after this year, and Addai could be the featured back, even at some point this season. I'm dreaming of my 2 keepers being Addai in the 7th and Ronnie Brown in the 8th next year.

At this point, I must say that I am excited about my team. I have landed the guys that I targeted in almost every round. However, I was excited about my team last year and we saw how that worked out, so who knows. Whatever, f-it, I dont even care...

Round 8/Pick #71: This is keeper #2, Ronnie Brown. Last year, I dealt Clinton Portis and Jake Plummer (I think) to Ironic Steel for Ronnie Brown and Alge Crumpler. At the time, I was 1-7 and had no chance of making the playoffs. I knew I needed to make a move for a late round keeper. The league couldnt believe I made this trade, but I think it worked out well. Granted, Brown hasent been a featured RB since junior high school, but whatever. At least he has Mike Mularkey as his offensive co-ordinator. Oh god, no! Additonally, when I opened up ESPN.com in early march and saw in that big red box they put in the upper right hand corner saying that Ricky Williams was suspended for drugs, it felt like my birthday and christmas wrapped into one. I hope he breaks his leg in the CFL.

Round 9/Pic #90: The rest of the draft is less exciting. I think this is where I took Reggie Brown. Decent #3 WR I guess, probably will only play during bye weeks.

Round 10/Pick #91: Back-up QB Michael Vick. I'll probably only use him when McNabb is on a bye or when Vick plays a crappy defense. I've had him the last two years. He's not that good at fantasy, but he's exciting to watch. If I'm lucky enough to play him on the weeks where he busts out a 65 yard TD run, then its worth it. But lots of turnovers possible.

Round 11/Pick #110: Back-up TE LJ Smith. I figure I have good depth at TE between him and Crumpler, and can exploit the matchups as needed. I now have 3 eagles though, but doubt I will ever play all 3 - except week 3 when they play the 49ers.

Round 12/Pick #111: Eddie Kennsion for WR #4. He usually has over 1000 yards receiving each year, which I dont understand because he only catches 4 passes a game. LJ gets all the TDs on this team anyway. He will likely get dropped when I need to pick up a second defense.

Round 13/Pick #130: Seattle defense. Good I guess, they went to the superbowl last year. Two years ago I took the Ravens in round 5, last year it was the steelers in the 8th. This defense is comparable, and I waited a lot longer.

Round 14/Pick #131: Jay Feely, Giants kicker. The giants are always on TV, so I can watch him miss 24 yarders live. He'll be gone by week 5 when he has a bye. I agree with Donnie. I lobbied to get rid of kickers completely, but alas, I failed.

Round 15/Pick #150: Mr. Insignificant. The 15th round is a free keeper round, if you keep that guy on your team the whole year. Last year, Single Andy managed to hold on to Frank Gore, which may work out well. I had Lee Suggs, a previous winner of the prestigious 'Mike Sweeney Award'. This year, I contemplated Big Ben, but didnt want a 3rd QB, so I went with Mike Anderson. I dont know what Jamal Lewis will do this year, but Mike could end up as a starter, but the Ravens offense sucks so it doesnt matter. Not bad for a 5th RB I guess.

Overall, I am happy with my depth at RB, QB and TE. I feel a little shaky at WR, but if Addai develops or Mike Anderson becomes the starter, I could trade one of the other RBs for a receiver. We'll see. Can't be any worse than last year...

Muffin's Run to Glory

Similar to Donny, I will analyze my own draft. An analysis of the other members of the league will follow. I will try to stay objective...nah, f-that. I'm going to totally overhype my players.

In the 2005 draft, the first year of keepers, I wanted to make sure I had 3 solid RBs. I took McGahee (bust), Portis (terrible in the first half - then I traded him and he had 10 TDs in the last 7 games) and Curtis Martin (apparently 30 year-olds that win the rushing title dont do it again at the age of 31 - bust!) After that solid triumverate (sp?), I took a solid QB Trent Green who had a lot of yards, but our league doesn't award too many points for yards, and he only had 17 td passes, basically one per week...useless. My WR corps were anchored by Jerry Porter in round 5 (bust), Rod Smith and Eddie Kennison (who burned me in week 5 or 6 by getting 0 points, even though he played the entire game! Obviously, you can see where this is going...

After a 10th place finish (out of 10), I immediately looked toward '06 (Baseball that is). I inquired to my roommate, Ironic Steel as to who he thought would be kept in baseball and who might go in the first round. Normal questions to ask a fellow sports fan, except that the calendar had not yet reached Thanksgiving. After a promising start to baseball, my pitchers forgot how to throw strikes, and I currently sit in 5th, praying that my team gets hot for 3 weeks and I can somehow pull off a second place finish. Anyway, on to this year's football draft.

I begin the draft by showing up at 530. It doesnt start until 745, and 5 of the 6 beers I purchased are already drank. Its ok, because of trades and keepers, I only have two picks in the first 49, so I really just need to concentrate for about 15 seconds. By the way, I definelty was the most efficient drafter. By picking at the end of one round and the beginning of another, I consistently took both my players in less than a minute. Thats the Muffin Way...I rule!

Round 1/Pick #10: As mentioned by Donny, there was garbage left at RB. But with keepers of Ronnie Brown and Lamont Jordan, I only needed an adequate #3 RB. I had two guys in mind, but I saved the RB for the second round. At this pick, I wanted one of the top WRs, who I considered to be Chad Johnson, 'Big Game' Holt, Starvin Marvin Harrison, Larry Fitz, TO, Randy Moss and Anquan Boldin. Since Chad and Fitz were kept, I had to sit through 7-8 picks holding my breath, as Harrison and Tolt were taken. Single Andy drafted 9th right before me and selected Reggie Bush, leaving T.O available to join the Muffins, reuniting with the team he carried in the pre-keeper days of '04. I consider him a top-5 WR, likely to get double digit TDs, as long as Parcells doesn't murder him or his stationary bike doesnt get a flat and send him into a burning volcano (or some other injury/death).

Round 2/Pick #11: With Lamont Jordan being my keeper in round 3, and having no pick in round 4 (which is how I landed Jordan in June), I just have to make this pick and then wait for 39 more players to be called. Normally this would be nice, but I only have one beer left and its a sunday. Regardless, I said there were two guys I wanted as my 3rd RB/Flex player, Reggie Bush or Willie Parker. I dont consider either a #1 or RB, so I thought Bush would fall. Either guy works great for me since I already had 2 RB's that were consistently top-1o in all mags I read. Gale Sayers, I mean Reggie Bush went to single Andy, so I took Fast Willie here. I'm satisfied with the yardage, and he will get more goal line touches (not all of them, but hopefully enough to raise his season TDs from 4 rushing to 8 rushing). Not bad for a #3.

Round 3/Pick #30: Lamont Jordan as a keeper. Traded a 4th rounder for a 6th rounder to Ironic Steel. Good trade value since it was the first trade of the offseason. Future trades netted better picks, such as Ironic swiping the 12th overall pick for L-fitz...strong work, roomie.

Round 4/Pick #31: Its been 57 minutes since I drafted, and I wont pick again for 19 more picks (39 of those 57 minutes are spent by The Lawnmower man debating on Hasselbeck in round 2). I was on the phone with the muffin wife at this time and did not hear the crowds reaction to that pick. I was told a pin dropping could be heard amongst all the disbelief.

I have to go to a meeting now, and I dont want to risk losing this, so I will continue to post in an hour or two, recapping my rounds 5 through 15.

Clash of the Titans Re-Previewed

I think this weeks matchup comes down to one compelling challenge. How many, if any, offensive categories can Steel pull out? It goes without saying that the final score will likely fall somewhere between 7-5 in one direction of the other. The strength of Davenport hitting is rivaled only by the crapiness of Davenport pitching. I think my WHIP year to date is actually below the Major League average, which would seem impossible, but apparently is not.

Two key factors impact my team's chances of going 6-0 on offense this week:

-I-Rod's status. He generally only plays 5 games week pending off days, etc. If a 2-4 game suspension gets tossed in there, that could wreak havoc on my offensive stats - primarily runs and batting average. Additionally, without a lot of roster manueverability, it's next to impossible to pick up another catcher.

-Pay-rod's matchups. Steel makes an excellent point in noting the matchups this week. This could be brutal for Team Davenport if the Yankees are in close games all week.

On the pitching side, generally the approach is to bludgeon the other team with quantity over quality. With 8 starters, translating to 10-11 starts a week, I can usually pull out Wins and Strikeouts. Coupled with a strong offensive performance (5-1, 6-0), that generally results in at least 7 wins a week.

Hopefully Chutley and Ry Ho are held in check by my Mets, and we make up the 1.5 games this week.

A Draft Analyzed

As noted below, last night's draft, co-hosted by Worldwide Leader rep Chris Mortensen, was jam packed with convoluted trades and lots of keeper running backs. The highlight of which was Larry Johnson, consensus best RB, being kept in the 7th round, affording his owner the opportunity to go out and get Antonio Gates early. Mort commended this as the quality pick of the draft, but lamented Matt Jones ineligibility at TE this year.

The following is a recap of Donny Davenport's draft with analysis by Donny Davenport. 'A Deuce on Your Head' was able to keep Tiki Barber and Hines Ward. (Keeper rules as follows - 1 guy from 1-3rd rounds, 1 from 4th through 14th, and your 15th rounder if kept all year) Here's the blow by blow recap:

1st Rd, 7th Pick -Domanick Davis - This should give you an idea how crappy the available RBs were. It came down to a choice between Davis, Rueben Droughns, and Kevin Jones (who slid all the way to the late 3rd or early 4th round). Davis will surely be injured by week three, and put together a very Brian Westbrook-ian season (3 amazing weeks of 33+ points, surrounded by 13 weeks of injuries and crap).

2nd Rd, 14th Pick - Tiki Barber (keeper)- This isn't bad for Barber, who probably would have gone 5/6 overall in a normal draft. Not as good as Larry Johnson in the 7th, but two solid RBs (when healthy/not fumbling) is a respectable start.

3rd Rd/ 21st Pick (via trade) - Anquan Boldin- Boldin was a 7th round pick last year, which would have made him attractive trade bait, but no trades were pursued by his owner, much to my disgruntlement, when that same owner selected Matt Hasselbeck (prior year 10th round pick by myself) in the SECOND ROUND!!! Insane. Boldin's also insane when healthy. Assuming the Warner, Navarre, Leinart QB triumvirate results in 45 pass attempts a week, he and Fitzgerald will go over 100 catches apiece again. I would have preferred Moss, but he had gone with the previous selection.

4th Rd/34th Pick - Jamal Lewis - Using the same strategy employed in Fantasy Baseball when selecting Thome/Giambi late, I'm assuming that the veteran RB bounces back from his prison recovery year. Mike Anderson hopefully is no more of an issue that Chester Taylor in prior years, and Lewis should be a decent option at the flex position.

5th Rd/ 47th Pick - Hines Ward (keeper). Nothing exciting, but should be good for a 1,000+ yards and an average no. 2 receiver in fantasy. blah.

6th Rd/ 60th Pick (via trade) - Andre Johnson. I've always wanted Andre Johnson on my team, and have never had him. He was still available, so I took him. I don't know if he'll be any good, but he went to 'DA U' as Michael Irvin would say, so that's gotta be worth something.

7th Rd/64th Pick - Dominic Rhodes. Addai was still available but I like having Rhodes to cover bye weeks for RBs in the flex spot early in the year, when I think he'll get the most run before Addai takes over primary responsibilities late in the year.

8th Rd / 77th Pick - Chris Cooley. I think he'll be good again, but who knows. The Washington Post wrote an article yesterday about how his 3 TD performance last year against the Cowboys, resulted in his own fantasy football team being eliminated from the playoffs. That's cool, I guess. Brunell seems to have a weak arm, so dump off passes to Cooley could be popular.

9th Rd- Terry Glenn- Big numbers last year. Unknown what impact TO will have. But once the crazy juice kicks in and Parcells goes wacky, who knows.

10th Rd - Drew Brees- I had him last year and he seemed okay, so it seemed like a good idea to get him again. (?) After Manning 1, Manning 2, Brady, and Hasselbeck, I don't see a big difference in QBs.

11th Rd - Vinatieri- Yawn. I'd rather we have a punter position than FG kicker. Since when is a 22 yard FG as important as a 30 yard run? We could award points based on touchbacks, yardage and deduct for kickoffs out of bounds, etc. It'd be as much fun as trying to calculate how many points your Defense has scored without Stattracker.

12th Rd - Trent Green- Sure, whatever... Yahoo likes the guy, projecting 4400 passing yards this year. Looks like he'll be my starter.

13th Rd - Jerramy Stevens - Somebody on ESPN really like this guy for fantasy this year.. Oh yeah, it was Chris Mortensen. Should be a decent cover guy for Cooley's bye. Instantly the winner of the Memorial Mike Sweeney Award for most likely to be offered in 75 trades this year. I can't wait to torture people with this guy.

14th Rd - Miami Defense. Who cares. One week they'll get some sacks and INTs and the next they won't. And it'll result in a loss one of those weeks.

15th Rd - Cedric Houston - RB Jets. If Martin retires or gets thrown away, and Jets don't trade for anyone, Houston could get quite a bit of work. Went to Tennesee, which is an SEC school, so Mort strongly endorsed this pick.

Looking at yahoo's ranking of my boys this year, it doesn't look so promising. Coming off two straight seasons of missing the playoffs, things aren't looking up this year. If Davis stays healthy or Jamal gets most of the carries in Baltimore, it should be a playoff season, but thats a big If.

Pre-Draft Recap

A flurry of action took place prior to the first keeper year of the Grindiron Keeper League. First, team "I love Starting Pitchers and Wide Receivers" sacrificed a fourth round pick to get Chad Johnson as a second round keeper. Mort was somewhat confused by this pick, as ILSPaWR already had Santana Moss in the 11th round, and had declared his man-love for Peyton Manning in the first. Considering the 15 of the top 18 running backs were off the board prior to the start of the draft, it left him in a difficult situation, with one pick in the first three rounds to select two starting RB's.

Following that, Ironic Steel and Tall Loud Drunk swapped second-round RB's -- IS sending Clinton Portis for Rudi Johnson, and flipping picks in the 5th round. Barbs were thrown from the gallery at IS, due to the fact that ESPNews had a report of "breaking news regarding Rudi Johnson's NFL future." Mort, on his 5th white wine spritzer, claimed to know for a fact that Rudi Johnson was caught with a traffic violation, which could have a major impact on how Carson Palmer's knee performs. The consensus in the room is to continue feeding drinks to Mort. (post-script to the heckling: The story never showed on ESPNews, it was agreed that R. Johnson, in all likelihood, announced he will not be playing beyond 40, and we moved on. Karma bit TLD after the draft, when everyone discovered Portis had suffered an injured shoulder)

Another trade! Donnie Davenport flips draft positions with Team Equal Opportunity in a couple of rounds. No one cares, least of all Mort, who is currently yelling at a magazine for not ranking Matt Jones as a top 20 wide receiver.

The deals close out with Ironic Steel swindling a 2nd round draft pick from Single Andy for Larry Fitzgerald, who can be kept in the 7th round. Single Andy, now girlfriend-less, and therefore able to make fantasy trades free of nagging, has apparently forgotten how to get to his barber, as his hair is approaching Sampson proportions.

Mort is visibly erect, as the first Cardinal is mentioned for the evening. He advises us that with Edgerrin James, you HAVE to consider them as a darkhorse for the NFC West. Everyone else wonders who exactly this guy is, since he hasn't written an article for ESPN.com int he past three months, and hasn't been on any ESPN programming since April's draft. It's put to a vote, and everyone decides it's time for shots. Everyone else does beer, Mort gets Jager.

CTY Still Alive/Mort Too!

Contrary to public belief, this blog is still active.

Last night was our fantasy football draft. One of our members won ESPN's much ballyhooed 'Draft with Chris Mortensen' contest, and as such, Mort was actually at our draft. He's much shorter in person. Full draft recaps to follow this week. Needless to say, Mort didn't help much. (any strategy that involves not drafting running backs until later rounds is just ridiculous)

Also, big matchup in Fantasy Baseball this week between Donny Davenport and the Steel Salesmen. Full preview and liveblogging to follow, because we have nothing better to do. Thank you stattracker.

T-Minus 6 days

The big day is almost here, season two of our keeper fantasy football league. Even though its on a sunday, I believe that there will be several of us getting krunked, myself included. There is a lot of mystery surrounding this draft. Unlike baseball, its not quite clear what everyone is going to do. The biggest question surrounds the 'Pasta Franchise' and whether he will pass on a running back and take Peyton Manning. The obvious answer is yes. Almost as good as Randy Johnson in the first round. Donny will have to post as to the status of a live blog during the draft.

In other news, I have wanted to comment on the NFL draft for some time now. First, I must preface this by saying that I am a Buffalo Bills fan, and that everyone outside of Buffalo completely ripped their draft and said that GM Marv Levy and owner Ralph Wilson had no idea what they were doing. I am not here to defend or rip there draft - but, as an aside, I am pretty happy with their draft as a whole - instead I want to comment on the state of the sports media in relation to issues like this.

If you look at any mock draft on any of the major websites, TV channels, newspapers, etc, they are all basically the same. Yes, there are minor variations, but essentially, the first round was projected about the same across all mocks. I feel that it is impossible for any normal human being to scout and rate all of these college prospects, when they play against such varied competition with such a wide range of talent around them. The only person who has attempted this is that weird-o Mel Kiper (I believe he has Asperger's disease - go look it up and tell me if you agree).

Anyway, my point is that Mel has his rankings, and then about 100 other guys take those rankings, adjust them just a little, and have make their own projections. They dont actually do any scouting or research of their own, other than reading what Mel says. Thus, if your team doesn't draft according to Mel Kiper, then they had a bad draft according to the ENTIRE sports media.

Bottom line, with all the uncertainty in the NFL draft, you have to take the player you want. I think its better to take the guy you want and have him suck while the "consenus" pick performes well, rather than taking the "consensus" pick and having him suck, while the guy you wanted does well. Because of this, I hope that Mario Williams has a HOF career, and that Reggie Bush is out of the league in 3 years. Then every single jerk-off who said the Titans were stupid for passing on the next Gale Sayers can GFThemselves (by the way - I guarantee if you surveyed all the people who compare Reggie Bush to Gale Sayers, at least 60% of them would have no clue what team Sayers played for). But I'm sure that some douchebag on Around the Horn will say, "I told you that the Titans made a great choice". F-You.